


Question 3--Kaneki

by amuk



Series: interview with a ghoul [3]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 10:03:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10090367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amuk/pseuds/amuk
Summary: Just who was Kaneki? No matter where he went, Haise couldn’t get a straight answer.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: “don’t make me talk about it. i wouldn’t know the words.”
> 
> A/N: Ahaha, took me forever to post the rest of the series. Anyways, this might be out of date because I haven’t been keeping up with the manga so I’m a bit behind. Particularly the ending will probably be no longer canon since I’m sure by now that mystery is solved.

 

It was dark when Haise opened his eyes. Grey-dark, the colour of a starless sky. Without a moon, he could see the bare outlines of shapes—a chair, a person, a solitary table. There were no rooms, no buildings here; just a horizon as far as the eye could see. In the vast space, he felt small, insignificant.

 

Shivering slightly, Haise rubbed his arms. It’s funny how a place with no wind, no environment could feel so cold. This place was an empty, alien world.

 

“Where—oh,” he breathed as he recognized his surroundings. It had been a while since he’d last visited. No, not visited, that made it sound like he could control when he came here. It had been a while since he was last _summoned_ here.

 

And the one who summoned him was still sitting on the chair, not even giving the slightest indication he was aware that Haise was here. The man—no, boy, and that was strange, that the one who really owned this body was a child. That the one who called the shots was younger than him.

 

“Why am I here?” he asked, his voice muffled by the heavy darkness. It almost seemed to swallow him, each footstep he took was on mute, each action in slow motion.

 

Kaneki kept quiet, his white hair glowing in the dim light. It stood out too much, blinding Haise as he tried to make out the boy’s face.

 

With a frown, he tried again. “What are you thinking about?”

 

Kaneki didn’t move from his chair, a statue gazing off into the distance. Time held no meaning here and Haise couldn’t say if he waited a minute or an eon for a response. It felt hard to breathe here, something heavy weighing on his chest as he tried to breathe in.

 

“What are you looking at?”

 

Haise bit his lip, frustrated.

 

It was the same no matter where he went. Outside, no one would speak of Kaneki. Neither Arima or the café manager, his boss or a random book-giving stranger. There were rumours, a cold look, a sharp warning. A single file in a library mentioning deaths and a memory he shouldn’t press into.

 

In here, it wasn’t any better. Kaneki left scattered hints, the barest of memories to work with. A peek at a past, a feeling, a thought, a taste. Enough to remind Haise he was a tenant of this body, not the landlord. Enough to inform him there was a history to Kaneki, a history to this body that Haise couldn’t easily replace.

 

But nothing more, nothing meaningful. Just thoughts and words and feelings. It was almost like Kaneki wanted to disappear, despite his actions to the contrary.

 

Despite his _words_ to the contrary. Haise could still remember his plea, his desire to live. His wish to save Hina.

 

That desperation was all but gone now.

 

Haise closed his eyes, trying to will his way back to waking. There was no point in being here if Kaneki wasn’t going to speak. A moment passed, another, and when he opened his eyes he was still there.

 

Still stuck in this barren world, a land without time and distance and meaning.

 

He clenched his fists, irritated. Haise couldn’t come here when he wanted to and now he couldn’t leave either.

 

“What is it?” Haise snapped. It might not be his body, but he didn’t have to be treated like this. “What do you want?”

 

Still nothing. Kaneki might as well be a corpse; it was like talking to air.

 

“Why—” Haise stopped, remembering just what he had read before he fell asleep last night. “Is it because she’s going to be executed soon?”

 

There was an imperceptible intake of air, an almost soundless gasp. Kaneki turned toward him. Haise took a step back--that desperation was back, a bright spark in his eyes.

 

“How long does Hina have?” the boy weakly asked. His fingers clutched his chair tightly, his knuckles white from the pressure. Colour started to filter back into this world, all of it dreary, all of it dull.

 

Haise stared in surprise. He didn’t think Kaneki would react at all, let alone say something. “I...She’s on the execution block, so a few weeks.”

 

“Could it be extended?” Kaneki questioned urgently, his voice breaking. Haise could almost see the reds of his words, the mixture of anger and helplessness.

 

“...to a few months, maybe, if she can help in some way…” Haise hesitated, before adding, “but she’s been moved there because they don’t think she can.”

 

“Oh.” Haise could almost see Kaneki’s hope shatter, could feel the breath knocked out of his lungs. Everything turned blue with resignation. “Ok then.”

 

Kenaki was shutting down again. Already, he was returning to his chair and staring at the spot in the distance. Desperate to keep the conversation going, Haise quickly said, “She’s been wanting to meet you.”

 

It didn’t stop him and Kaneki sat back in his original position. “I see.”

 

“I don’t.” Haise spat out, tired of this game.

 

Tired of trying to guess just what Kaneki wanted, just what answer he was looking for. Haise had tried, had spent hours just staring out into the abyss, but no responses came back from the shadows.

 

“She’s important to you, right?” Haise asked, getting up now and moving to sitting boy. “Why don’t you just take over and save her already?”

 

“I…” Kaneki stumbled over his words, over his excuses. “It’s...not...It’s your body now.”

 

“You’ve taken over it before, it’s…” Haise swallowed, the next words hard to say despite his resolve. “It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

 

He was going to disappear one day anyways.

 

“No, I can’t. If I...If I go…”

 

“You’ll save her.”

 

“No…” Kaneki looked up at Haise now, his eyes wide and desperate. “I can’t. I’m afraid.”

 

He resisted the urge to take a step back. His voice came out in a whisper, as though anything louder would shatter the fragile child in front of him. “Why?”

 

“If I come back, I’ll remember. If I come back, I’ll know.” Kenaki gripped Haise’s arm tightly. “He...what I did...I’ll remember.”

 

A word came unbidden to Haise’s mind, a name he didn’t know. Shouldn’t know. “Hideyoshi?”

 

Kaneki stilled, the memory more than he could bear.

 

“Who is he?”

 

“Don’t ask. Please. Just...don’t.” Kaneki released Haise, sinking into his chair. “I’d rather stay here in the dark than remember.”

 

“And let her die?” Haise shouted, incredulously. “She calls you her brother!”

 

Kaneki trembled and shook his head. “I can’t. I just can’t.”


End file.
